Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Life lessons.

I'm 23 years old. Turning 24 in December. 

In the 23...nearly 24...(remember that...) years that i have been chillin' on this wonderful world, i have learnt some pretty useful life lessons. Some the hard way...those ones tend to stick with you forever, like 'Note to self, remember to wear a bra when you leave the house' This is actually a lesson i have learnt the hard way.
If you have small boobs, go for it! You will look like you live in France. How European of you! Gals with a little larger jugs should stick to wearing bras...always. 

Goodness...life...life and it's lessons! Maybe you can learn from some of my life lessons...then i can learn from yours. Lets help each other to be better people in life! Better people with bras.

1. Don't put crumbs in your mouth if you are not sure what they are. It's gross...and it will make you throw up. I have done this without thinking. I did. And it WASN'T what i thought it was. Brush those crumbs off the table. 

2. It's NOT ok to call someone you have only just met a 'Vagina face'. 

3. Check your shoes before you put them on. Fun fact...I put my shoe on this one time and a lizard was inside. Yeah. A lizard. It squirmed under my foot and i nearly died.  That happened. Scarred me for life. So...check your shoes! 

4. Whilst Rollerblading (a cool sport...so NO laughing) wear a helmet. I have been hit by a golf cart whilst gettin' my skate on. The 'lovely' golfer reminded me to wear a helmet...then asked for directions. I sent him the wrong way. Take THAT crazy golf cart man! Save your self the shame. Put a helmet on your noggin. 

5. Not all animals want to be stroked. Squirrels tend to be vicious. Don't touch them. Donkeys are biters. Stay away. And Some dogs are just ment to be guard dogs...your not the dog whisperer...that guard dog hates you and your strokes. Lesson. Learned. 

6. Check the toilet before gettin' your business on. I watched a news thing saying snakes really do go up drain pipes and come out of your toilet. That really happens. Touch wood not to me...*thanks the lord* But i have had bugs. Big gross and clearly perverted bugs swimming around the toilet water. Once a spider...i had a small heart attack. And a Daddy long legs...yes, i cried. And this evening a beetle. That one confused me. How on earth did it get there! Check people. Check your loo. 

7. Don't stare too long at someone. You will creep them out and you will be forever known as 'That staring creepy girl' Creep on their facebook instead. 

8. Don't flip off the crazy looking truck driver driving to close to you. His car is 10 times bigger then yours and has likely got a gun. Crazies don't tend to need a reason to shot people. Keep your fingers to yourself. 

9. If you have a boob pain/headache/tummy ache/any common illness...don't Google it. It will scare you and you will start planning your funeral. True story. 

10. Taxi drivers will remember most things you say and do...as they are not drunk...unlike you...who is very drunk. So singing on the taxi ride home and then walking past the taxi men in the morning is going to be embarrassing. Especially when they see you and sing the songs you were singing...OH and call you the name you made up for your drunken self. Stella. Learn. Stay quiet. 

Please...learn from my mistakes. *sing* Life Lessons!*sing* beautiful.

Hey, lets bake and cook tomorrow. I have some stuff planned :D

Peace, Love & Kara <3  

1 comment:

  1. - Don't jump to conclusions when texting. You are normally getting the wrong idea when you do.

    - Don't wear a two piece swimsuit to the water park. You may be quite the cutie but those water slides cause the water impact to flip your top up. super embarrassing.

    - On rainy days, try to bring a spare pair of pants to work with you or you'll be soaked to the knees for half the day. This is not the least bit comfy. trust me.


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